Return of the Jedi English Teacher

As a creative person, I often find myself in ruts of epic proportions. Whether it's with my painting, or being a teacher, or even the drive to redesign my daily routines, this is an affliction I find quite frustrating. New ideas are like candy to me, and I gobble up the chance to conjure up novel activities for my students like they are Willy Wonka's everlasting gobstoppers. Certain failures leave me devastated, and I have become aware of just how harmful this has been to me and those around me. But, just as quickly as the excitement enters my body, it leaves, and I find myself with a brilliant project unfinished. Take, for example, this blog. 

Without dwelling on the obvious, I'll just say this- I'm back. For now. Until the next gobstopper beckons from a darkened, smarmy streetcorner, tempting me to leave. Again.

My absence has been due to a combination of burn-out, soul searching, questioning, the bad habit of over-filling my plate, and a plethora of random and unexpected samples of human experience. Nevertheless, crises of conscience leave me with one thing for which I am eternally grateful- life lessons. I have learned that each crisis, each peak and valley along this journey, offers me the chance to hear the universe signalling that it's time to step back and listen. And listen I have. It's given me the chance to find the things for which I am grateful, and rediscover my purpose in life. My purpose for being a teacher, an artist, and an amateur internet blogger with an audience of 1 (or maybe 2). I am a teacher because I believe in kids, in each of their unique places in this world, and the potential they have to grow into themselves despite the obstacles they face. I am an artist because it fills my heart and soul with color and happiness. I let my heart get weighed down when I take on other people's baggage, and worse, I let the weight of that baggage block my attention from these things that feed my life, and I let it interfere with my ability to be whole and good, and the best I can be in every aspect of my life- as a person, a teacher, a daughter, sister, friend, as an aunt, and as an artist. 

So, I have put myself on notice. For this next chapter, I am committed to only looking forward, and only reflecting on the past in ways that allow me to grow and manifest my own potential. I am not focused on others except in ways that serve the peace in my own life, and in ways that allow me to embrace the differences and the potential for compassion for all living things. No drama or judgement. Hurt happens, and it doesn't happen to defeat us, but to make us appreciate the ecstasy in every day experience. 

Putting positive out there means sharing lots of stuff, and namely, as the mission of this inconsistent and shotty blog states, sharing the good stuff that happens in my classroom. My goal- to share something unique, or ordinary, that was good for students once each week until June. This week, I'm sharing my own self-awareness, but I have lots more to share. Soon.